Hiya, I'm Bec
The average 22 year old who lives everyday understanding the struggles of a specific eating disorder. I'll first dive right into why your really here which is to hear my story with binge eating disorder I presume ....
How did my disorder occur?
I think my disorder occurred from restriction of calories when COVID first hit our country . It was a time where social media went into a fitness outrage and everyone was on the health kick. I started counting calories around 1200kcal a day I would eat and even some days less than that ! From not knowing what a calorie was to then watching YouTube and fat loss diets and fast fixes which proclaimed to work , this ruined my relationship with food. The all or nothing mindset was slowly coming into play and if I'd taste a tiny bit of sugar then I felt like I'd destroyed all progress and so I may as well eat everything I could lay my eyes on . The binge purge cycle was in full play and when my emotions became unstable this cycle seemed to control me .
When did I realise I had it?
if I'm honest I never knew I had a disorder for a very long time until eventually one day I knew something wasn't normal in my behaviour and I went to the doctors whereby it was said that if I binge purge once a week it's enough to diagnose a binge purge cycle . I was referred FTB however the therapists couldn't do much for me , I felt like I was too far gone at that point . All of this I did on my own , not wanting anyone to know , going to appointment , having to sneak around all because I felt so ashamed .
Where am I now?
I'm still very much a sufferer of binge eating disorder and purging it happens roughly once a week and it's probably something that will take a very long time to conquer . However , I feel like utilising this blog we can all conquer each day together . If I can go 5 days no binge eating this week then it's better than 4 the previous week and so on . So let's do it together , let's rebuild our relationship with food , let's tackle a disorder which controls so many in silence . You're not alone and neither am I . It's about understanding how we conquer this , having food freedom and becoming the person we used to remember with food habits .
see you again when I tell you how day 1 went .
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